Diary of HJ Granger
by Laire Ankale
Summary: Hermione has just graduated Hogwarts, and starts a new journal. She doesn't know what to do after school, and is now beginning her life as an adult. Non HBPon compliant. Will be HGSS
1. 06 31 1998

_**WARNING: **This is entirely fictional, and written from Hermione Granger's point of view. This is non HBP, nor DH compliant. That said, all characters and whatnot are copyright JK Rowling._

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06/31/1998

Here I sit, starting yet another journal. My previous attempts at doing so have not been successful, but I am hoping that this time I will actually be able to keep a steady track of my life.

Graduation was yesterday. I'm not sure how I'm feeling about it. I'm currently sitting on the train back to London, and Harry and Ron are talking animatedly about their post-Hogwarts plans. They are both continuing on to become aurors; but who does that truly surprise? I am honestly not sure what I am going to do, now that I no longer have school to take up my every waking moment. For the time being, I am going home to spend a few weeks with Mum and Dad. I did get a few job offers at the ministry, and I was also invited to become an apprentice for numerous subjects. I simply do not know which path to choose, where it will lead me, and how happy it will make me. I'm truly hoping that at some point over the course of the summer, the answer will reveal itself. Maybe when I get my NEWTS scores, I will have a better perspective.

Dumbledore, however, said something which I cannot get out of my mind. The day before graduation, I was asked to meet with him in his office. I obliged, and we sat and talked about the future (how annoying has that become?!) I told him much of what I already told you. I have no idea what I want to do, despite being able to go in almost every direction I could ever imagine. He smiled at me with his eyes knowingly, and clucked. All he said in response, was, "A beautiful mind such as yours shouldn't always be kept to itself. Not to sound as though I am taking advantage of you, but others could benefit from that which is neatly stored inside." He quickly dismissed me, and that's all I've been thinking about. I can surmise many things from what he was implying, but there is nothing concrete I can determine.

Whoops! The food cart just stopped at our compartment. I am thoroughly famished, and thus, I am going to go enjoy the rest of the train ride, and the time with Harry and Ron.

With much love,

Hermione


	2. 07 05 1998

_**WARNING:** This is entirely fictional, and written from Hermione Granger's point of view. This is non HBP, nor DH compliant. That said, all characters and whatnot are copyright JK Rowling._

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07/05/1998 

Sorry for the short entry before. I just wanted to give a quick start, and then Harry and Ron distracted me. As did a few chocolate frogs.

It feels so weird to be home, again. I'm so used to either being at Hogwarts, or at The Burrow with magic constantly surrounding me. My parents still aren't used to the owls tapping at the windows, nor Ron's head randomly popping in through the fireplace. I still see the surprise on their face when I take out my wand and levitate something, or any other acts of magic, despite the fact that I've been legally able to do it outside of school for over a year.

Yesterday I got an owl from Dumbledore, finally explaining what his last words to me had meant. He invited me to come back to Hogwarts to become a professor. Apparently Flitwick wants to retire soon, and he would like me to take his place, after a year of apprenticing under him. It is a very tempting position to take, but there are also so many other things I could be doing. I could still go to the ministry and become an auror, or I could work in the department of mysteries, I could become a potions mistress, a transfiguration mistress, or virtually any other "mistress" I could imagine. The possibilities are so daunting and vague, that it's almost impossible to choose. I've always loved pretty much every subject at school (with the exception of divination.) There is still so much I don't know about the wizarding world, and I find it difficult to know where to begin on my quest to fully enter it. But out of all the offers, Dumbledore's has become my top choice. He requests an answer by then end of July. I still have about three weeks to make up my mind about that. Perhaps I will write a list of pros and cons. It would be nice to be able to permanently call Hogwarts my home. I pretty much have for the past seven years, it wouldn't be that much of a dramatic change.

I can only imagine the incredulous looks Harry and Ron are bound to give me. At the same time, they would probably just shake their heads, knowing that it's impossible to keep me away from a learning environment.

On another note, it's very lonely here at home. It's too quiet. Even with having my own personal room as Head Girl, I have become too accustomed to the noise and chatter constantly drifting up from the Gryffindor common room. It soothes me and calms me, in an unexplainable way. This endless silence at "home" is extremely unsettling, and I find it hard to concentrate. Ironically, you would think it to be the other way around. I already miss spending every night with the boys, even though I was always trying to keep them out of trouble.

It feels as though I've been torn from the womb, to be placed in a world where I don't belong. And I suppose that really is true. The wizarding world is something I am truly a part of. I can't imagine ever going back to being a true muggle. Mum and dad would never understand it, but that's only because they aren't able to do magic. Fortunately, they understand my feelings enough to know that it's time to truly let me go and proceed with my own life.

I think I'm going to send Dumbledore an owl. Writing has helped clear my mind a little. He's right. If I can help show children how wonderful the wizarding world is, then I will feel fulfilled. If worse comes to worse, I will endure a few years being the charms professor, then I'm sure I will be able to persue other dreams.

I feel confident about my decision, though.

Hermione


	3. 07 22 1998

_**WARNING:** This is entirely fictional, and written from Hermione Granger's point of view. This is non HBP, nor DH compliant. That said, all characters and whatnot are copyright JK Rowling._

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07/22/1998 

I suppose I'm not the greatest at keeping up this journal thing, am I? That probably also has something to do with the fact that nothing interesting has happened what-so-ever. I've been spending the past two weeks with my parents. I think they want to get one last "bang" out of my staying home. We've been doing all sort of muggle things, such as going to the zoo or museums, or other things I loved as a child. It's lovely and all, but it gets dull rather quickly.

Harry's birthday is next week. His eighteenth. He's like me in the respect that he views that as more of a coming-of-age instead of the seventeenth, as it is in the wizarding world. We're supposed to have a big party at The Burrow, although Harry knows nothing about it. Most of the Order is going to be there, along with all of the Weasleys. Merlin only knows how much alcohol is going to be consumed, since everyone will be of age except for poor Ginny.

I'll have to go to Diagon Alley soon, in order to get him a gift. Maybe a book on Quidditch. That boy could make more use of his time reading, but I suppose I'll have to bend my own will and get him something he'll actually enjoy and use.

Wait! If all of the Order is going to be there, does that mean Dumbledore (Albus! I'm supposed to call them all by first name, now) will force Snape (I will never! call him Severus. Disgusting thought, actually) to attend? That sounds like something he would do. I can picture both Harry and Ron's faces, if Snape were to show up. Although it might be sort of funny, in actuality. We aren't in school anymore, so hopefully some of the animosity will have lifted. But for some reason, I highly doubt it. Boys!

I will be leaving the muggle world officially next week. I'm going to be living at The Burrow until I go back to Hogwarts as a pseudo-professor, two weeks before the start of term. I'm actually looking forward to it. Which reminds me - I'm supposed to owl Filius to discuss what the year will bring, and what is expected of me. My assumption is that I will be helping with all of his classes, as well as grading. The only weird thing will be assisting his seventh-year classes, as there are many students I know and am acquaintances with - if not more, such as Ginny. Maybe that will make my first year back, without Harry and Ron, more bearable. I will just have to wait and find out, now won't I?

Forgive me, I'm rambling. I will _attempt_ to write soon, although I can't guarantee much. I will at least let you know how the big party goes, and whether or not Snape shows up.

_Hermione  
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**Author's Note:**_ I apologize that this doesn't seem very exciting yet. I just figured that starting directly after graduation would get the story off the ground. Soon! Very soon, the real story will start. I will try very hard to be forthcoming with the updates. I know the "chapters" are short, but these are supposed to be diary entries – bear that in mind. It is also the reason why the "description" will be a little lacking, until we get a little farther along and Hermione feels... emotions.

Thank you all for bearing with me. New "chapter" to come soon!


	4. 08 03 1998

_**WARNING:** This is entirely fictional, and written from Hermione Granger's point of view. This is non HBP, nor DH compliant. That said, all characters and whatnot are copyright JK Rowling._

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08/03/1998 

Harry's birthday was absolutely beautiful. Ron had lured Harry out of The Burrow on the pretext of buying him a new broom - which all of the Weasleys had chipped in to buy, so it wasn't exactly a lie. If Harry had already been overtly pleased with his new broom, and full of gratitude towards the Weasleys, I can't imagine how he must have felt as everyone jumped out and screamed "Surprise!" when he walked into the living room. There was so much joy, and laughter, and love, not to mention the flowing alcohol that I foretold, that it has all become a swirl in my mind.

No, I didn't imbibe on the wine and Firewhiskey much. Just enough to feel slightly light headed. I was never one to indulge in it, and I still am not. I'm perfectly content with that.

I'm officially staying with the Weasleys until I move, permanently, back to Hogwarts. Two weeks left with everyone. Harry and Ron won't start auror training until the fall, but I'll be leaving. Granted I'll be able to see Ginny every day, but it just won't be the same. I'll be her "professor" of sorts, and I think it will just make everything awkward. For this, I'm glad that we were never _truly_ close. She is still hung up on Harry, but I know she's been dating other boys. I think since he won't be there all the time, maybe she'll try to forget about him and will fall in love.

Love. That isn't something I've regularly thought about. All the teenagers at Hogwarts were running around rampant, trying to find what they considered "love." But instead, I was constantly studying and never gave anyone a second look (if they even gave me one, in the first place.) I didn't want to get caught up in the lust and love and hormones. Who actually wants to deal with all of that? Ugh. It sickens me to even think about. Maybe that's why I broke things off with Viktor. I think he was just infatuated with me. Why, I haven't the slightest. But there just wasn't anything that which warranted a full-fledged relationship.

Maybe someday I will find love. But it's not really on my agenda of things to do. And honestly. What opportunity am I really going to get as professor at Hogwarts? I don't do the socializing thing of going out to bars and meeting random people. It's just not me. Who could picture Hermione Granger, bookworm to boot, dancing up a storm? Not I.

_Hermione_


	5. 08 17 1998

_WARNING: This is entirely fictional, and written from Hermione Granger's point of view. This is non HBP, nor DH compliant. That said, all characters and whatnot are copyright JK Rowling._

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08/17/1998

I never mentioned that Snape never showed up to the party. Both Dumbldo... er, Albus and Minerva mentioned something to Molly about almost begging him to come, but the stubborn git couldn't even summon up the courage to appear for 10 minutes. I suppose some things will never change.

Today was my first day back at Hogwarts. It was the weirdest feeling, to be wandering around the halls during broad daylight, and not hear the chatter of students. I suppose it is going to be something I'll get accustomed to during the next two weeks, though.

Albus gave me the most beautiful set of rooms I could have possibly asked for. They're on the eastern side of the castle, and filled with windows, so the sunshine will leak in every morning. I love it. The rooms don't really have much in them aside from the basic furniture, but I will quickly fill up all the bookcases, and maybe put up a picture or two. I'm not too big on personalizing my living space. As long as it _feels_ right, is all I'm concerned about. And I think it does. That gives me a lot of hope.

My space at the Head Table is between Filius and Snape. While I do love the Charms Professor very much, I'm afraid that we do not share all that much in common. So the conversation today was very lacking. All I could do was sigh to myself and hope that things improve with the coming school year. Snape, on the other hand, barely acknowledged my feeble attempt at a greeting. All which I had said was, "Good evening, Professor Snape." He merely glared at me. I don't know what I was expecting. Maybe I was hoping since we are now colleagues, that he would have set aside at least a small portion of the hatred he feels for me.

It just really irks me that he thinks he can treat everyone with disdain. The only person whom he shows a _slight_ affection for would be Albus. And the word "affection" is greatly straining the definition within this context. How can he be so cold, so cruel? Maybe he was treated poorly in the past, but the fact that the war is now over and he has been redeemed should have given him some sense of hope in mankind! How can he go on treating people the way he, himself, was treated, and not believe he affects them? Greasy bastard, is all I have to say. I respect him on a purely professional level. Anything beyond that and... my veins are on fire just thinking about it. Hero or not.

How on earth am I going to survive this without Harry or Ron with me? It's lonely here, already. There is no one to have a conversation with, even if it was just me telling the boys to shut up about quidditch. I miss how playful they were about it. I miss punching them on the shoulders when they wouldn't stop. They would make such a huge deal out of it, but I could see them smiling. It's that camaraderie which I will sorely miss.

Filius has started going over his plans for the new school year. He actually wants me to teach his first, second, and third year classes! Of course he'll be in the background to assist, if need be, but I'm actually going to begin teaching! That thought excites me more than it really ought. I will be giving lessons in a few of the upper-level classes, but will mostly be an assistant to Filius. This year may not be bad at all.

_Hermione_


	6. 08 22 1998

_**WARNING: **_This is entirely fictional, and written from Hermione Granger's point of view. This is non HBP, nor DH compliant. That said, all characters and whatnot are copyright JK Rowling.

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08/22/1998

The week has passed more quickly than I would have originally thought. Filius has been keeping me busy by watching my progress in coming up with lesson plans for the first through third years. I vaguely remember beginner's charms, but with Filius adding his suggestions as to which spells to teach, it is becoming easier to remember, as well as create imaginative lesson plans. I'm trying to figure out ways to keep the students minds working, so that the class won't be boring. It's easier than I had thought it would be. I still remember the thrill of being the first in my class to levitate a feather. I'm really hoping to be able to instill that awe and happiness in my students.

The first staff meeting was tonight. It was held in the teachers' lounge. We spoke of the up-coming school year, our hopes, as well as our predictions. Minerva and Snape started bickering about quidditch. It was sort of funny in a way, to see my old Head of House arguing so fervently and unguardedly as she did. I know she never would have been that way in front of the students. I have to admit, though, that Snape did make a few good points which almost swayed my opinion that Gryffindor would win the cup. He was very matter-of-fact, and while I could see the anger flitting across his face (very hard to discern from his usual sneers, but distinct nonetheless), he kept it in check and didn't allow it to get the better of him.

It's just so funny to see my old teachers from the eyes of a colleague, rather than a student's. Pomona (Sprout, that is) is really rather funny. Her jokes are sharp and witty, and she laughs even if no one else does. Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever seen her angry or upset. She really is suited to be Head of Hufflepuff.

I'm starting to enjoy the way the professors interact with each other. Everyone is friendly, and they aren't treating me as though I am stupid. I realize none of them _ever_ saw me as that, but I'm still a child. Things aren't turning out as bad as I may have thought!

I did have a run-in with Professor Snape after the meeting, though. I was smiling to myself, and not looking where I was going. When I say run-in, I mean it literally. I suddenly felt something soft and yet hard - then two hands grabbed my shoulders. Looking up, I immediately saw his cold, black eyes boring into me. I remember biting my lip before muttering a quick apology. He let go of me and sneered, "Watch where you are going, Miss Granger." He still has the ability to make my blood boil without even trying. It is simply the disdain and contempt he fills every syllable with. But in a way, I'm starting to wonder why he's like that. I've been seeing new sides of my old teachers, and yet he's still the same. It's sort of sad that he never lets his guard down. I can't imagine a life like that.

I think I'm going to go down to Hogsmeade tomorrow. Filius is allowing me to take the weekends off, and I really want to get a few new books, as well as some more robes. The only ones I have aren't exactly appropriate for a teacher. Well, actually, the only robes I _do_ have, are my old student robes. Other than that, I have muggle clothes. And neither would be appropriate. While I've never been girly, I'm really looking forward to being able to wear what I want.

It's getting rather late, and I'm getting rather tired. So I am going to go to sleep. I will write soon.

_Hermione_


	7. 08 27 1998

_**WARNING:**__This is entirely fictional, and written from Hermione Granger's point of view. I am using OD as a means to easily create a first person Harry Potter fanfic. This is non HBP, nor DH compliant. That said, all characters and whatnot are copyright JK Rowling._

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08/27/1998 

It is in my opinion, that Albus is officially insane.

After dinner tonight, he asked me to meet with him in his office. I was expecting him to give me some advice, or to ask how things were going, or something along those lines. The last thing I expected was for him to ask me to work as an assistant to Snape.

"How are you doing, Hermione?" Albus asked me after I had sat down in front of his desk.

"Very well! I'm really looking forward to the coming school year," I replied, smiling at him.

"Very good. Now, I do believe that you will want to keep up with your extracurricular studies, am I correct in this?" he asked with a twinkle in his blue eyes.

I smiled again. "Yes, of course! I've been keeping up with my reading on arithmancy, transfiguration, and ancient runes. I like to keep my mind busy."

"I thought you would say that. It is for this reason that I have a request," he said.

"Oh?" I asked.

"I would like for you to be an assistant to Severus during the school year. He has a difficult time keeping up with Poppy's stores, even if he won't admit it out loud. I'm sure he would appreciate your help." Albus' eyes were twinkling in a maddening way, again. "On top of that, you will easily be able to keep up-to-date with potions. It is a skill that none of us should lose."

I was flabbergasted. Work with _Snape_? Surely Albus is out of his mind! All I could mutter was that I would think about it.

So here I sit, and I have no idea whether or not I should. I wanted to blatantly refuse Albus, but I couldn't because of my respect for him. Not only would it be extra work throughout the year (and I'm not sure how much of my time it will consume), but I would be forced to come into even more contact with Snape. That is the last thing I want to do. He is a surly bastard. That really is all I have to say about him.

But I really love potions. I would love to be able to brew them, and keep up in the field. It's hard to do it without the resources at my fingertips. If I accepted, then I would be able to read a theory, and see it for myself as well. The prospect is alluring, but I just can't... I don't know what to do.

All I can think about is the other night when Snape looked down at me with such hatred in his eyes. To be constantly around that... I'm not sure what I would do. But Albus wants me to make up my mind before the start of term. That doesn't leave me much time.

Perhaps I will ask Filius his opinion on the matter, when comparing it to my job as a professor. I'm almost hoping he will say that it will be too much work. Then again, I love a challenge, and I love to prove people wrong. I just don't know what to do.

_Hermione_

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_**Author's Note:**_ I hope everyone is enjoying the story so far. I'm slowly building up a plot, and I'm trying to make the journal entries longer. As well as more descriptive of things that have happened, instead of a generalization. Thank you to everyone who has already reviewed and/or added this fic to their alert list! It makes me happy::gives everyone cookies:: Thank you again, and I hope you continue to read! 


	8. 09 01 1998

_**WARNING:**__This is entirely fictional, and written from Hermione Granger's point of view. This is non HBP, nor DH compliant. That said, all characters and whatnot are copyright JK Rowling._

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09/01/1998 

I gave in. I told Albus I would do it. I am officially Professor Snape's assistant.

I had asked Filius' opinion on the matter. He said that while grading and writing lesson plans would take up a large amount of my time, making some potions on the side should be doable. So I sighed to myself, and gave in to my mind. While my heart is screaming to not do it, that I will only torment myself... my mind is thirsting for knowledge and there is no way I can pass up the opportunity to work side-by-side with a recognised Potions Master. I don't think I will ever have a chance like this again. So I agreed. Tomorrow we meet for the first time.

Today was the first day of classes. I think it went rather well. Of course the beginning of the term is nothing but explaining to the students what is expected of them, but it was exciting nonetheless. I can't imagine ever having been that small, though! My first years are all so tiny, and the second years are only marginally larger. But if I stay at Hogwarts for long enough, I will get to see them transform into adults. I'm sure it will be a sight to behold!

Already I can spot the trouble-makers. Namely, the ones which remind me of Harry, Ron, or Malfoy. There is this one first year in Hufflepuff which will definitely prove to be a problem. Not so much of a trouble-maker, as much as a class clown. He will definitely try my patience.

I'm definitely anxious about tomorrow. For both academic and personal reasons. I teach my first actual lesson, and I'm really hoping that it will go over well. There is no reason why it shouldn't, but to me it's like a test. No matter how prepared I feel, I'm still not sure how I will do. I'm also anxious about meeting with Snape tomorrow night after dinner. This will be the first _real _conversation we will have as colleagues. Although I highly doubt he will treat me any differently. The most I can expect is that he will be himself. I really would like it if he would stop treating me like an ignorant child, though.

I can dream, can't I?

_Hermione_

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_**Author's Note: **_I'm so sorry for the lack of updating. Working at the Humane Society is exhausting, and I haven't felt up-to-snuff because of it. Thank you all for bearing with me, and for the lovely reviews. They make me happy ) I realize this chapter is really rather short. I'll really really try to write more tonight, to make up for it. I hope you all enjoy! The next chapter contains... meeting with Snape! Dun dun dun! 


	9. 09 02 1998

_**WARNING:**__This is entirely fictional, and written from Hermione Granger's point of view. I am using OD as a means to easily create a first person Harry Potter fanfic. This is non HBP, nor DH compliant. That said, all characters and whatnot are copyright JK Rowling._

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09/02/1998

This was perhaps one of the most interesting days I can ever remember. I woke up to the sound of Ron's voice screaming at me through the floo.

"Oi! Hermione! Get your ass out of bed and talk to me right now!" was the first thing to pierce my sleepy head. I stumbled out of bed (rather unhappily) and walked into my study. On top of Ron's shrieking voice, the sunlight, which I had thought I would enjoy, killed my eyes. In other words, it was not the nicest way to wake up.

Ron then proceeded to calmly ask me how everything was going. Since there had only been one day of class, there wasn't much to tell. But I vaguely mentioned that I will be working with Snape, and Ron utterly flipped. He started going off on how I shouldn't be spending more time with the "evil git," that he will simply abuse me, and all other things of that nature. The only way I was able to get out of the "live-Howler" was to tell Ron that I had to get ready for class. He just glared at me and told me he would talk to me soon.

That was my morning. I then proceeded to my first class of the day (third-year Slytherins,) and managed to bite back some insults I wanted to hurl at the children. Honestly, the Slytherins are going to drive me up a wall. But the rest of the classes went rather smoothly. Filius kept praising me after every class, which slightly bolstered my mood after the morning's events.

Last, but certainly not least, was my meeting with Professor Snape. However, he wasn't nearly as bad as I had originally anticipated. We met in his office, and simply spoke of what would be expected of me. He gave me a list of potions he wants me to brew for Poppy. While he didn't give me the constant death-glares which I have become accustomed to, he certainly was not friendly. Almost cordial, in a way.

That man is perhaps one of the most complicated I have ever met. I can read Harry or Ron like a book, and it's really not too hard to know what to expect from Albus or Filius, either. But Snape? I think he is going to do or say one thing, and he does almost the exact opposite. Perhaps he is devising a new tactic to unsettle people - do what they don't expect. It most certainly worked on me! I almost couldn't help but gape at him as he softly told me what to do, and when to do it. Granted he was still giving me orders, but gone were his barking commands and sneers. He still calls me Miss Granger, and I still call him Professor Snape... but it almost feels as though the meaning behind the names has shifted ever-so-slightly. It's as though he views me as more of an adult now. Maybe it is because I tend to keep most of my questions to myself, now, and don't interrupt him, or many other myriad of things which seemed to annoy him as my time as a student.

I am really hoping that Snape will remain as cordial as he was tonight. That would make everything pleasant. Well, not as pleasant as it would be to work with Minerva, but it's not as though I can expect a friendship from him. That thought is so absurd it actually makes me laugh. Speaking of Minerva, she invited me to join her and Pomona in Hogsmeade this weekend. I'm looking forward to it. I never really spent time with girls my age, and so far, I've really enjoyed the friendship both women have offered me. It should go very well.

I should be writing soon.

_Hermione_

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_**Author's Note: **_I told you I would get another chapter up! Haha. I try not to break my promises, especially to my loyal readers whom I love and adore! Well, there really isn't much else to comment on. I hope you enjoyed the chapter! 


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